Alison & Lee do Scotland 2006

Saturday, May 27, 2006

Day 6 - Getting High!

Our final day of what has been a fantastic break - I really would suggest that you all go away for a week and do bugger all!!

We had a lazyish morning - which was fortunate as we'd just had the best nights sleep of the holiday. Typical.

Alison had wanted to get one final run into our schedule before we left for Blighty so off we went again to the Rosneath Peninsula and to the little village of Kilcreggan. We'd been running for a few kilometers when it became obvious that the 10k race on Thursday had taken its toll on both of us and we were running with heavy legs and not too much 'fuel in the tank'. Alison is also carrying a slight muscle pull after giving a local some grief - pulling a muscle whilst handing out some heavy verbal abuse - I dread to think how the poor bloke feels!! We did a respectable distance and headed back to the car.

After a spot of lunch - some locally made sausages and a scotch pie - we headed off again to Dumbarton Castle...or what is left of it.

Considering how bad the legs feel - a nice stroll around some castle grounds could be just the tonic - to try and stretch out the tight muscles. Oh well!!

We arrived at the castle initially to find that is was obstructed by a wedding - of all the castles in all the land, these people have to get married in this one!!! Thankfully the happy couple were on their way out to the reception across the road at Dumbarton football club.

After trotting up a flight of stairs (ow!), we had a quick chat with the man who took the money and then we were interrogated by his assistant who it turned out was from Manchester and had met her husband when they both worked at PC world together...

Thankfully she had to go into the other room - Alison and I looked at each other and fled in the direction of the castle grounds. Time for that nice stroll...

The stroll was nice, but was almost verticle - steps, more steps and even more steps. If our legs were not half dead before we arrived at the castle, they were certainly about to be read the last rites now.

The benefit of the steps of course was that the views were stunning, amazing and breathtaking. The wind nearly blew us to our deaths but at least we could have enjoyed the views as we plunged to our deaths. Thankfully though, we descended the steps and walked around the lower grounds - which overlooked Dumbarton football club - which is actually my home team. Unfortunately they weren't playing today but there was a Police car outside - something had 'kicked off' at the wedding reception.

The final part of the castle challenge was to escape back to the car before Manchester PC World woman

grabbed us. Thank God for American tourists...I never thought I'd say that!!! She was distracted so we ran down the stairs (ow, ow ow!!) and locked ourselves into the car.

As a footnote to this part of the day, as we drove out, we passed Dumbarton Football club where an Ambulance was arriving...still, it'll be a day to remember for everyone.

For the 'Last Supper', we had decided to treat ourselves to a nice meal out and had booked in at the Knockderry Hotel in Cove. The last time I was at the Knockderry, it was a bit of a shed, but it has been bought out and improved. It was worth a stab...

Actually, it was worth more than a stab - we couldn't have had a more perfect meal and evening. It was delightful - I even managed to get Alison, a waitress and myself into a single bedroom - I nearly managed two waitresses but she was laughing downstairs...

After some of the best ice-cream I have ever tasted - yes it was that good - we shot back to Helensburgh for a cuppa and to write this blog.

Well, that's that then.

Friday, May 26, 2006

Day 6 - On the train to Glasgow

Today was the day we'd earmarked for a trip to Glasgow. Just as well as it's rained heavily all day! We took the train from Helensburgh straight into the city centre - much easier than driving in.

First stop in Glasgow was The Men's Store. This is a men's only "grooming salon". In reality this means girlie things for boys whilst still pretending to be all masculine so no one gets a complex. I'd promised Lee that I'd treat him to a proper wet shave with a cut throat razor, and whilst it would be tempting to have a go myself, I reckoned on balance it was probably better to pay a professional to do it instead!

We booked him in, and had a bit of time to kill so headed for Willow Tea Rooms. This is a complete Mackintosh jobbie again - he designed the exterior and interior. Downstairs is a really nice jewellers (but didn't quite persuade Lee I needed some diamonds!) and upstairs is the tea room.

A good cup of tea and cake was had (would be rude not to!) and then back out into the rain. Lee decided that we needed a PSP (translation for those over 40 - it's a handheld game / internet / mp3 gizmo) as this would a) enable him to test compatability for websites b) be useful as a wifi detector at work therefore c) would be tax deductable and the company could pay for it as a valid expense, oh and d) he can play a new Formula 1 game on it. Hmmmm. No comment.

We took Lee for his wet shave. Half an hour later he was shiny faced and smooth. A spot more shopping was called for, nothing very exciting though, and a quick lunch.

We decided to "get cultural" and visit an art gallery. So we got a map and found the Buchanan Galleries. Puzzlingly we couldn't find any art work - it turns out it's just a bloody shopping centre. Very misleading! We found their information desk, made ourselves look like really stupid tourists and then we then went to the Museum of Modern Art. What a pile of rubbish! We got as far as two galleries and then decided to give it up as a bad job. It was mainly pretentious, stupid, ugly rubbish - but what do we know!

But then we have no taste - a prime example is the trainers Lee nearly bought today.

We thought that they were so bad they were good. The only snag was that they didn't have his size - when he does find them in his size, expect to see him wearing them soon!

So, a pretty uneventful day today. We were just grateful that Glasgow hadn't shut for the day! We are a bit tired now - probably after our exciting run yesterday, so we might go out to a seafood restaurant tonight or we might fall asleep on the sofa, it could go either way!

Thursday, May 25, 2006

Day 5 - Run for Glory!

A lazy start to the day was the way we started. Our main objective was to conserve energy for tonight.

Fortunately daytime television is a wonderful motivator - three hours of watching pond life argue about bringing up the eight kids by thirteen different fathers is enough was enough to persuade us to get up and do something. It was time to visit the Bagpipe factory....

Alison had mentioned that there was such a facility within a close proximity to the apartment - fantastic! After a quick lunch of toasted bagels (oh yes!!), we clambered into the Kia for a quick jaunt to Loch Lomond...again!

The Bagpipe factory is just outside the small coastal village of Luss - it had something to do with 'Take the High Road' but as we're in our early thirties, we have no idea what that was all about!! There is a huge sign advertising the factory...they make kilts too!! Thankfully (and for once), there was also a large sign that, in large friendly letters, decreed that the Bagpipe emporium was indeed 'Open'.

Unfortunately the huge 'not-so-friendly' padlock and chain locking the gates into place was an indication that the 'Open' sign had well and truly broken several trading standards' rules. Another give away was that the 'factory' looked more like a disused bomb shelter.

After remarking to each other about the strange way that business seem to close down the moment we arrive, we hopped back into the car and drove the village of Luss...which is more of a mobile hot-dog stand with an annex - there is a 'glass factory' however. If you're ever in Luss, and want to visit the glass factory, don't make a day of it - you won't need that long. I think 'factory' is perhaps pushing the description a little too far...they obviously use the same team of advertisers as 'Bagpipe World' up the road!!!

Luss wasn't a total washout as we did get to see some ducks (always a bonus in my book and second only to rabbits!) and I had another ice cream. Alison burnt her tongue on her coffee and had to 'rest' it on my ice cream to prevent swelling...as if I was born yesterday...a 'rest' is as good as a lick in my book...calories are calories!!!

From Luss we tried to find a nice tea-shop, balanced on the bank of the Loch - but that had obviously been washed away too!

In a last moment of desperation - in an attempt to justify the diesel cost, we went to a 'outlet village'. We just never learn...

Somehow we stumbled upon some glass blowers. They were doing a roaring trade in glass thistles. To cut a very long story short - we ended up buying a £15 thistle which isn't even glass - they use perspex or pyrex or some other material which isn't glass!! I've even dropped it and it doesn't break (damnit!) - I'm sure we'll find somewhere to stick it!!

So back home for a cuppa and a chance to relax before the big event - the Polaroid 10k.

The race started at 7.30pm but as we had to register I got us to the Hermitage Academy by 6pm. We found a pleasant little man who was searching desperately for our shirt-numbers...but guess what...oh yes!!

Thankfully we were on 'the list' and he had a big black marker pen. He found a couple of blank sheets and skillfully wrote on some numbers...who knows, they may even be ours!! He thrust a handy guide regarding race procedures into our hands and he skipped off.
Having now familiarized ourselves with the rules, starting and finishing procedures (and how to collect our medals!!!), we headed back to the car to await the line up.

There isn't much to say about the actual race apart from the fact that Alison performed out of her socks - I'm really, really proud of her and she did really, really, really well - she ran all the way and didn't stop once! It's amazing the motivation a medal can generate.

I was particularly delighted as I reached the finish as they thrust a bottle of water into my hand AND A MARS BAR. You'll know how gutted I was not to get one in London...

The one thing that seemed to be missing was a medal. The Turner curse had struck again - no medals. They had arrived this morning from the 'medal maker' and they were all half-marathon medals...bugger. Hopefully they will arrive in the post...

After a celebration drink...lovely water - we got back to the flat, had a shower and went to Helensburgh's other curry house...the Lahore! I think this one will come back to haunt us. I've had some crap curries in my life - in some cases they probably were 'crap curry' (and can I have a 'Turd Tandoori' please...not monkey shit though, I have a peanut allergy!) - but this one was one of the worst. The Andrex is in the fridge already!!

Tomorrow is Glasgow - what could possibly go wrong?

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Day 4 - Lots of Driving, Scenery and what was open in Oban

Day 4 and a more serene start with bagels in bed at 9am! We'd planned to go to Oban, and even though the weather was foul, we set off on the scenic route. We were looking forward to pretty scenery and a visit to the Caithness Glass factory.

The weather changed roughly 46 times on the way up - from torrential rain to fabulous sunshine! Two hours and 75 miles later, we arrived in Oban. The weather was very cheery and we felt very lucky to have sunshine. We went to a fish & chip shop recommended on the internet by Rick Stein. The fish and chips were wonderful - we cannot remember the last time we had fish and chips and we'd been saving ourselves for them in Oban. It was worth the wait!

By the time we'd eaten, the rain had started. So we headed to tourist information to ask where the Caithness Glass factory was, so we could get out of the rain. Also, tourist info had a leaflet on a local chocolate factory that did tours. Sorted! EXCEPT...

Here's the glass place - looking a little quiet... take a closer look and

Aaaargh. The Turner curse strikes again. CLOSED!

Not to be put off, we then got soaked en route to the chocolate factory, walking round the very pretty harbourside.

Once we were thoroughly soaked, we got up to the chocolate factory. Yummy!

Guess what? No tours of the factory - the last one had just finished. Bugger! So we bought a tiny bag of homemade chocolates and went back out into the rain!

The only other way to get out of the rain was to go to the Oban Distillery for their tour. Earlier we'd decided not to pay £5 for visiting a whisky distillery when a) Lee is teetotal and b) Alison hates the stuff. However, considering that it was the only attraction open in Oban and it was still raining, we reconsidered!

And we were glad we did - Fergus our guide was informative and interesting and made it enjoyable. At the end we got a free "dram" - Lee thought it was lovely, I wasn't so keen...

Lee started bleating about "needing" an ice-cream, so I shoved him in the car, and we took the circular route back. The weather cleared up and we enjoyed more beautiful scenery.

We stopped in a little coastal town for Lee's ice-cream (it shut him up for 5 mins!) and then headed back to Helenburgh. We're now settled for a quiet night in, and a fairly quiet day tomorrow before our evening out!

Tuesday, May 23, 2006

Day 3 - Ballochs To It!

What is going on? We're on holiday - a traditionally relaxing time - can we sleep?

I got up this morning about 6.30am (doh!) and crept into the kitchen to do a little web-work (as you do!) - Alison suggested that I go for a run...so I did.

I had a quick trot around the area - back up to Hill House and through some very nice streets with some really posh houses - down onto the 'seafront', into town and then back to the apartment.

By this time Alison was up, munching her way through a bagel. Ten minutes later we were both out on the street running along the wonderful coastline - the sights, the smells and the wind (no, not us!). The wind was unrelentless - but we soldiered on.

Returning to the apartment for stretching and showers - not at the same time mind-you - I had the sudden realisation that I'd been out for two runs and it wasn't even 10am!

After a spot of lunch it was time to go to a lovely little place called Balloch, to the banks of Loch Lomand. Alison had bravely decided to go on a boat trip - and we all remember the 'wind over tide' incident at Puffin Island! I think it is fair to say that Alison is a nervous traveller...I would like to say that my driving has nothing but a calming influence on her...the screaming is purely coincidence!!

Though it was only this afternoon, I cannot remember in which order the events unfolded:

Kids started screaming
It started raining
Everything closed for the day
Visibility measured about 10m

The boat trip was very, very nice - a little choppy in places but very nice all the same. Loads of ducks, swans and mountains - it would have been perfect if we could have seen some sea-rabbits!

After the trip, we went to the Loch Lomond visitors centre - which apparently cost £60 million (seriously) - in true Grant tradition it was closed!!! The shopping mall was open and very busy - mainly clothes shopping for people waiting to die!!! We decided we'd arrived at the mall too early - about fifty years too early.

A short trip into Balloch followed - to see the much advertised 'retail outlet'. A short trip out of Balloch followed almost immediately - how can one place sell so much crap!!

Finally, we did a swift left into Alexandria - my place of birth. You didn't realise I was Egyptian did you? As we passed the Vale of Leven hospital (a place of much grunting nearly thirty-two years ago), a car pulled out in front of us...it's a shame it missed really because it would have been nice to be killed in the same place I was born - it sort of neatens everything out. As it happened, the ABS on the Kia was working and we missed the OLD GIT WHO SHOULDN'T BE ON THE BLOODY ROAD!!!

A wonderfully scenic route back to Helensburgh followed. We've just returned from the 'Akash' - Helensburgh's finest curry restaurant - apart from the other one which we'll probably try on Thursday...after more running!!!

Monday, May 22, 2006

Day 2 - 8k run and Hill House

Well, we were up pretty bright and early, looking forward (can you believe that?!) to a run. Lee decided we'd run round the coastline of Kilcreggan and Cove and I agreed quickly because it's nice and flat - and very pleasant scenery.

The map is what my GPS has sent to Google Earth - you can see we started at the bottom of the peninsula, up and round the coast and then back again. So, with 8k (or 5 miles in old money) under the belt, we trotted down the pier to take a couple of celebratory pictures. And yes, Lee has stuffed something down his tights. They really are obscene even at the best of times. Lee thinks that the route was lovely and quiet - he didn't realise he'd scared all the locals off!

We got back to Helensburgh for a spot of lunch, and then decided to pop into town to the Tourist Info and have a quick look round. We decided to visit Hill House at the top of Helensburgh, a Rennie Mackintosh masterpiece. It was beautiful - we both enjoyed it more that we thought we would! Sadly we weren't allowed to take any pictures inside. We didn't dare risk it as there were armies of National Trust battleaxes ready to pounce if you misbehaved!

Lee saw a necklace and bought it for me, which was an unexpected romantic gesture. He reckoned that he couldn't go wrong as it is pink and sparkly. I'm obviously very easily pleased! It is very pretty - a handmade glass pink and sparkly pendant on a silver chain.

We've cooked for ourselves tonight in the flat - the luxury of a large kitchen! - and it's now a lovely sunny evening. We're having a relaxing evening in before another run tomorrow, weather permitting.

Sunday, May 21, 2006

Day 1 - Caerlaverock Castle

After a pleasant evening in one of Carlisle's premiere hotels (or was that hostel - not too sure!) and a full english breakfast (which was really a bad idea!), we decided to head off and see if we could

revisit an old haunt of mine.

I was last at Caerlaverock in 2000 filming for Screenhouse TV and having spent three days stood in the pouring rain watching re-enactors 'kill' each other with rubber swords, I was eager to escape back to my Headingley rabbithutch and return when the fake blood had been completely washed away.

The sunshine today was glorious and thankfully we were the only people stupis enough to be at the castle at 9.30am (apart from the lady taking the entrance money). Caerlaverock is a wonderful castle, quite different from the usual sort that we've all been dragged around many times before. The triangular build made it unique for its time - though it was attacked many times, it took vast armies to overcome the handful of peasants, nuns and Geordies that were inevitably left behind to 'wipe the walls down'.

The main reason I find Caerlaverock an interesting place is that the castle you can visit today is actually Caerlaverock version 2! Caerlaverock version 1 is two hundred meters nearer the Solway - it was abandoned when they (whoever owned it at the time) realised they had built it in the wrong place and it was also too small!! Imagine the Egyptians standing back and admiring the Great Pyramid and then realising that there had been a huge cock-up in town planning and they actually needed to start all over again. Alison has asked me to point our that the picture above was taken by her own fair hands and wasn't bought at all...I wonder where she gets her gift for photography from?

After a quick trip around the gift shop - where I bored the woman behind the counter silly with more 'tales of my TV career'. I honestly hadn't realised she had glazed over was about to fall off her chair. I was most disgruntled that Alison dragged me out of the shop before the words 'have I told you about the London Marathon?' had had a chance to pass my lips...

From Caerlaverock to Largs (via Kilmarnock) - where Alison had once filmed for ITV (Holidays from Hell) and had enjoyed splendid views, a nice hotel and NARDINI'S CAFE - THE BEST DAMN ICE-CREAM IN THE WORLD.

As you can see, Nardini's has 'let itself go' in recent years and we turned up dreaming of huge cornets of creamy vanilla. Obviously this didn't happen - we'd only driven the best part of 100miles out of our way but that didn't matter. Largs' website also fails to mention that their premiere Ice-cream joint is our of business. Bugger!

Finally landed in Helensburgh to a very 'computer friendly welcome'. The owner of the guest house is a techie of extremes. We have never seen such an array of gadgets in one room (we were dragged in to 'admire' his 'kit' - ooh a computer....how unusual - please tell me about dual core processors again!!!). We've been invited back for 'drinks' one evening - maybe we can watch how quickly he can defrag his hard-drives (six of them apparently - and more planned)!!!

The apartment is lovely, very clean and spacious and in the centre of Helensburgh - photos tomorrow.

We've had a quick drive to find a running route for tommorrow, spotted a nuclear submarine or two, grabbed a pizza and settled in to watch Top Gear. Nice!!!